The more arrogant you are -- the more you naturaly assume you are better than everyone else -- the easier it is to treat them kindly when they make mistakes that you wouldn't have, or otherwise disappoint. It's not their fault, it's nothing important, they just aren't you.

Minor Buffy spoiler below.

- I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

- I know we'll be together forever.

- We're going to make this relationship work, no matter what.

- I love you.

Those are the kinds of things Willow and Terra said to each other. Their relationship was so perfect, and they knew it. They'd only ever had one or two fights.

Terra left within a few days. How did it happen? They fought about Willow using too much magic. Then Willow used a spell to make Terra forget the fight. Terra was pissed when she found out. When Willow did it again, that sealed the deal. The end.

They didn't talk about it much. They didn't give it a few years (only a small part of their lives) to make sure they weren't throwing their perfect life together away. Not even a few weeks to get perspective on the matter.

And problem solving? What did they do to fix it? Nothing. Willow had a "no magic for a week, then I'll reconsider" ultimatum that she blew. That's very harsh pressure. And not very helpful.

But anyway, consider this: What is Terra's excuse for going back on her relationship promises? That Willow did something horrible. But Terra made those promises to someone capable of doing horrible things. That was her mistake, not Willow's. Willow didn't lie, trick, or mislead Terra about who she was. Well, maybe she did a little -- that is expected in romantic relationships -- but nothing relevant. Quite the opposite: Terra was catching on to Willow's magic-habit right as it formed, because Willow was so open about it.

When people say "forever", they mean, "I might leave you tomorrow if I subjectively feel betrayed or upset enough. I might make no attempt to fix things, if it seems too hard to do so. And I might blame you for everything. And the chance I'll do this is not 0.0000000000001%. It's more like 0.2% per day."

Edit:

a few days later:

Willow: it's better this way

Edit:

a bit later, Willow gets much worse (magic=drugs parallels). Buffy finds out. she has a different reaction:

so remember terra's was: omg you aren't perfect? you betrayed me. bye.

Buffy's is: omg you nearly got my sister killed? well, i'll help you now. we'll get rid of everything that might remind you of magic from the house. even though the sister you almost killed complains that she likes some of the stuff being got rid of.

so, lovers leave, friends help. that's what all those promises to stay forever amount to.

minor buffy spoiler

anya: will u still make me waffles when we're married?
xander: no, i'll only make them for myself. but by california law, you'll own half of them

The second google hit for prefer than is sex jokes. that says something about what people in our culture care about. I was a bit surprised. I just wanted to know about grammar.

are all really lame.

http://pressesc.com/01171128822_top_5_anti_war_posters

http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/

This article is interesting for many reasons. Here are a few:

- It blames Nathaniel Brandon for the "self esteem is really really important" movement, which hates competition. I met him. Small world. You might think a libertarian would like competition more. Oh well. I didn't know it was his fault.

- In a study, young children act very differently in reaction to *one sentence* of praise. That's an amazing amount of flexibility to be able to change one's self-image so easily.

- Five year old children have daily math and phonics homework expected of them. Ugh!

- Parents say things like, "I can't stop praising my kid so much. He'll feel awful." But what actually happens when the parent tries to stop is that the *parent* feels bad. (Why limit praise? Because most of it was non-specific and said without regard for its truth.)

http://www.lyricsandsongs.com/song/402609.html

NEXT CONTESTANT lyrics

I judge by what she's wearing
Just how many heads I'm tearing
Off of assholes coming on to her
Each night seems like it's getting worse
And I wish she'd take the night off
So I don't have to fight off
Every asshole coming on to her
It happens every night she works
They'll go and ask the DJ
Find out just what would she say
If they all tried coming on to her
Don't they know it's never going to work
They think they'll get inside her
With every drink they buy her
As they all try coming on to her
This time somebody's getting hurt

Here comes the next contestant

[CHORUS]
Is that your hand on my girlfriend?
Is that your hand?
I wish you'd do it again
I'll watch you leave here limping
I wish you'd do it again
I'll watch you leave here limping
There goes the next contestant

I even fear the ladies
They're cool but twice as crazy
Just as bad for coming on to her
Don't they know it's never going to work
Each time she bats an eyelash
Somebody's grabbing her ass
Everyone is coming on to her
This time somebody's getting hurt

Here comes the next contestant

[CHORUS]

I'm hating what she's wearing
Everybody here keeps staring
Can't wait 'til they get what they deserve
This somebody's getting hurt

Here comes the next contestant

[CHORUS]
I wish you'd do it again
Each night seems like it's getting worse
I wish you'd do it again
This somebody's getting hurt

There goes the next contestant

This is an interesting article about why hidden fees, exorbitant minibar prices, overpriced printer ink, and similar, are a good thing.

http://www.slate.com/id/2159743

They really, really need automated unit tests:

http://www.destructoid.com/developer-tales-the-true-story-of-an-abused-game-tester-30025.phtml

One of the problems with schools is that they don't have individual knowledge of each student, so they can't tailor assignments to their specific skills and abilities and knowledge. They also don't give everyone different assignments because of the labor involved.

That's pretty abstract. Here is a specific example. I learned a bit about matrices. Then I wrote a Ruby program that does some of the calculations I'd learned about. A school could not give out this assignment. The students in the math class might not know how to program. And the students in the programming class might not know about matrices. In general, schools can't explore cross-discipline work. Everyone has a major, and if a task doesn't fall entirely within it, it can't be assumed they know how to do all of it.

There is no obvious way to fix this. There isn't some little fact that schools are overlooking. It's just a problem with one-size-fits-all education. It's a shame. And it's a reason to prefer to learn at least some things outside of school.